Even Now
by chikki1
Summary: Hikou's getting jealous of Tasuki and Chichiri's relationship. Will have yaoi soon, no da. (Hikou/Houjun, Tas/Chi and some Hikou/Kouji too. ^_^)
1. prolouge

EVEN NOW (prologue/ ?)  
BY : Chikki 

Notes I came up with this idea while watching TV the other day. It will have yaoi (of course ^_^) Hikou/Houjun, eventually Tasuki/Chichiri and some Hikou/Kouji later on. ^___^ The poem below is just a prologue of sorts. (It's from Hikou's thoughts on Houjun, by the way) I've already started writing the first part and it should be up soon.  
Disclaimer Not mine. Never will be,na no da.   
  
  
  
It seems like such a long time now  
Since we last met each other's gaze.  
Since we last touched and we last laughed  
And thought of memories from happy days.  
It frustrates me so greatly now,  
When I think of what we could have been.  
It would have been magical and perfectly right,  
And unbelievable with love from deep within.  
And even now as I watch you sleep,  
I still fall for you, the edge was just too steep.  
I still lose myself when I look into your eyes,  
And all over again, I would realize  
That I should have given you more, It was long overdue.  
But it's too late now, Nothing much is left to do.  
And even though I cannot feel, I still cry at night.  
I still have lonely dreams where I am holding you tight.  
I still wish that I could love you like I wished I could before.  
I still smile sadly because even now...  
  
I'm still loving you more and more.   


To be continued


	2. part 01 : White Lilies

EVEN NOW (1/ ?)  
BY : Chikki 

Notes Well, here's the first part, no da. Thankies to all the people who said such nice stuff about my poems! is feeling all warm and gooey inside ^_^ This is a bit depressing, I know, but don't worry, I'll come up with something a little more happier in the next chapter.  
Disclaimer Not mine. Never will be,na no da.   
  
  
  
Hikou looked out the window silently and regarded the moonlit sky above him with a melancholy stare. It was raining lightly and the water mage could hear the soft thrum it made as the raindrops hit the ground.

'It's raining again.' He mused to himself as he rested one of his hands on the window ledge. '_It was raining when I died too…' _Hikou shook his head to rid the guilty thoughts that he knew would come. He didn't really need them right now.

Silk robes rustling from this movement, he peered out. Though it was too dark to see outside, Hikou knew that the trees were swaying. He knew that they were being thrown from side to side by a strong wind that he could not feel. The thought of not being able to feel the wind depressed him somewhat and he looked away bitterly. _'Dammit.'_

A flash of white caught his attention and a small smile touched his face. Reaching out one ethereal hand, Hikou delicately touched one of the white lilies in the bamboo vase near the window and his smile grew larger.

The handsome spirit gazed thoughtfully at the blue-haired figure sleeping peacefully on the bed. He then brought the lily up to his face and carefully caressed the smooth petals between his fingertips.

Sighing softly, he closed his eyes and when Hikou opened them again, he found himself staring into the face of his sleeping best friend. _'Houjun.' _He said wistfully, brushing back the stray blue bangs that were plastered to the left side of Houjun's forehead. Hikou winced when he saw the angry scar that marred half of the other's face and he reached out to touch Houjun's cheek . _'I'm so sorry.'_

The only response that he got from Houjun, however, was a sleepy sigh and Hikou glanced down at the lily that he still held.

The thought of his best friend keeping white lilies in his room even when he was staying with the Mt. Reikaku bandits amused him greatly ; And when Hikou looked up again, he was smiling once more.

"Lilies, huh?" the spirit whispered, placing the white flower next to Houjun on the bed. Allowing himself one more look at the young man that had intrigued him so much, Hikou moved away and went to the window once more.

The rain was still falling.

Hikou took a deep breath, inhaling in the scent of the mountain air. His gaze fell again to the vase of white lilies near the window and he smiled. _'Maybe he still thinks of me after all.'_

~~~~~

"Houjun?" 16- year old Hikou called out, his heart pounding with anticipation in his chest. "Can you come here a minute?"

"Hikou-kun? Where are you?" Hikou held his breath as the shrubbery parted and Houjun stepped into the clearing, squinting his eyes at the sudden appearance of the sunlight.

The younger boy frowned when Hikou did not reply and silence was all that answered him.

Cautiously, Houjun took a few more steps into the sunlit clearing. "Hikou-kun?" he asked again.

Something brushed his shoulder from behind. Taken aback, he spun around, only to be greeted by the sight of Hikou standing there, no more than a few inches separating them.

Hikou grinned at the younger boy from where he stood. Only a few months stood between them, yet Hikou was far taller than the other was. "Hi, Houjun!" he said cheerfully, his head tilted to one side and his hands behind his back.

Houjun backpedaled a few paces, his hand on his chest. "Hikou, don't do that!" he all but yelled at the other boy, his cheeks flushed with anger and embarrassment. When Hikou did not stop laughing, Houjun made a face and placed his hands on his hips.

"Sorry, Hou-kun." Hikou managed to gasp out in his fits of laughter.

Houjun rolled his eyes and looked away, pretending to be mad. The older boy smirked at this. "Aw, don't act all huffy and stuff. I was just teasing you!" With a smile, Hikou thrust something into Houjun's hands. "Here!"

"What's this?"

Hikou whacked his best friend on the head, laughing slightly. "Baka! They're white lilies! I know they're your favorites and I just happened to find a huge clump of them growing near our house!"

Delighted, Houjun brought the fragrant blossoms up to his face and buried his face in them.

Hikou watched this with a soft smile on his face. "So, you like them?"

"I love them!" Houjun said, running his hand over the tops of the flowers. After some time, he pulled away and gave them back to Hikou, a reluctant expression on his face.

"Why are you giving them back to me?"

At this comment, Houjun drew back and blushed. "Er…aren't they for someone else?"

Hikou made a face and turned around so that his back was to Houjun. "Ha! Someone else? No way! Those are for you, you baka!"

"For…me?"

"Hai," Hikou looked over his shoulder to smirk at Houjun. "Now, can we please go? I've spent the entire afternoon watching you try your hardest to fish-"

Automatically, Houjun whacked Hikou on the head and the older boy laughed. Houjun's poor fishing skills were a regular joke between the two.

"It's true!" Hikou pointed out. "The only time you ever caught a fish was when Kouran-chan and I finally felt sorry for you and placed one of the fish that we caught in your basket!"

Houjun's face fell. "You mean I really didn't catch that fish?"

"Oops."

"HIKOU-KUN!"

"Sorry!" Hikou cried out, laughing as Houjun tackled him to the ground. "Seriously though, I'm really getting tired!" he rolled Houjun off him and stood up, brushing off his tunic. "I'm going home!" He began to walk down the path. After several moments, he stopped and looked at Houjun. "Well? Are you coming or not?"

"H-hai!" Houjun hastily gathered up all his things in one hand and ran after Hikou. The white lilies that Hikou gave him were still held tightly in the other.

~~~~~

Chichiri woke up with a start, his breathing unsteady and his face flushed. He buried his face in his hands in frustration. _'Hikou-kun…'_

He cried softly to himself for a while, before he slowly started to compose himself and the sobs subsided. The blue-haired seishi sighed and let his hands fall to his sides. The dreams were coming every night now. After about a week of staying at Mt. Reikaku with Tasuki, he had started dreaming of Hikou and all the other things in his childhood that he had thought were long forgotten.

'I wonder how is doing now, no da…" he thought, absently fingering the sheets of his bed. The fingers of his right hand brushed against something soft and he looked down. The monk gasped in surprise as he registered the white lily that was on his bed.

Gingerly, he picked it up and studied it. _'Hmmm…now how did this get here, no da?' _He got out of bed and headed towards the window where he always kept a vase full of white lilies. They were his favorites, after all.

He sighed and carefully placed the misplaced blossom in the vase with the others. Then, Chichiri crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window.

It was raining.

Unbidden memories started to materialize in his head and Chichiri slowly backed away from the window. _'No…'_

But the thoughts came anyway, with all the guilt that came with them, and Chichiri collapsed into a helpless heap on the floor, tears streaming down his face.

Had he felt the comforting pair of translucent arms that surrounded him and had he heard the reassuring words that the owner of those arms whispered into his ear, maybe he would have felt better.

But he didn't_._

  


To be continued


End file.
